Why do we have emotions?

If you struggle with BPD or Emotional regulation difficulties you might find yourself wondering, why we have emotions.

If you have Emotional Regulation problems, emotions can seem like a waste of time and you might even feel like they drive you to act out unwanted behaviours. So figuring out why us tricky humans evolved to develop a myriad of emotions can allow you to develop some knowledge and mastery over them. Once humans begin to understand their emotional responses, this in turn can lessen the intensity of the emotions and allow you to begin to make changes to how you react.

One of the reasons that I love Dialectical Behaviour Therapy is that it teaches you about the important roles of our various emotions.   This is turn helps us begin to tolerate them with a new sense of healthy respect. You can learn to take a beat and begin to put other mechanisms in place to prevent unwanted behavioural responses to intense emotions.

Here’s a run down of why we developed our core emotions.

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Why We Evolved Emotions: A Simple Guide

Emotions helped our ancestors survive, connect, and thrive. Here’s why each of these emotions developed from an evolutionary perspective:

😊 Happy

• Promotes social bonding – smiling and joy bring people together.

• Reinforces good behaviour – we repeat actions that feel rewarding (e.g., finding food, safety).

• Encourages exploration – happiness makes us more open to learning and trying new things.

😢 Sad

• Signals a need for support – shows others we need help or comfort.

• Promotes reflection – helps us think deeply and learn from setbacks or loss.

• Encourages rest and healing – allows us time to recover emotionally and physically.

😨 Scared

• Triggers "fight, flight, or freeze" – sharpens senses and prepares the body for danger.

• Improves survival – fear helped early humans escape predators or avoid threats.

• Teaches caution – we remember fearful experiences to avoid repeating them.

😠 Angry

• Protects rights and boundaries – anger can stop unfair treatment or threats.

• Drives action – motivates us to stand up for ourselves or others.

• Regulates group behaviour – shows others when rules or expectations are broken.

😔 Guilty

• Maintains social harmony – guilt encourages us to make amends when we hurt others.

• Builds trust – people who feel guilt are more likely to be seen as reliable and kind.

• Reduces selfish behaviour – keeps us thinking about how our actions affect others.

🤢 Disgust

• Protects from disease – makes us avoid things that could make us sick (like rotting food or waste).

• Guides moral behaviour – disgust can also apply to unfair or harmful actions.

• Helps with survival – avoiding toxic or dangerous substances increased our ancestors’ chances of living.

Q. When has disgust been useful for you?

😬 Low Self-Esteem

• Encourages group awareness – feeling “less than” can prevent conflict and keep us from acting in ways that might get us rejected.

• Promotes caution in social settings – helps individuals stay alert to how they’re perceived, reducing risky or dominant behaviour in tense group dynamics.

• Can signal need for reassurance or change – may lead us to seek support or adjust behaviour to maintain relationships or status.

If you’re struggling with BPD, CPTSD or any Emotional Regulation difficulties, my therapy office is based in central Wilmslow, within easy reach of East Cheshire, South Manchester and Central Manchester. I provide DBT, CBT, EMDR and Schema Therapy and I have a real passion for supporting people who have diagnosed a diagnosis of BPD or Trauma.

Contact me at admin@geraldineclairetherapy.co.uk