Alexithymia

Understanding Alexithymia: A Difference, Not a Deficit

Alexithymia is not a flaw or failure—it’s a unique way of experiencing the world. For many, it means that life is experienced in a different way to others. Alexithymia is a condition that effects emotional processing and it can often interconnect with mental health difficulties meaning therapeutic approaches need to be tailored, otherwise therapy can feel alientating and inaccessible.

What Is Alexithymia?

• Alexithymia describes difficulty identifying, describing, or connecting with emotions—both one’s own and sometimes others’.

• It’s not a diagnosis, but a trait that can show up across neurodivergent profiles, trauma histories, or simply as part of someone’s natural temperament.

• People with alexithymia often excel in logic, structure, and practical problem-solving, even if emotional language feels elusive.

There are Two Types of Alexithymia. Understanding the difference helps tailor support and self-compassion:

Primary Alexithymia: Thought to be neurodevelopmental—present from early life

• Often linked with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences.

• Emotional awareness may be consistently limited, but not absent.

• Support focuses on building emotional vocabulary and sensory-emotional bridges.

Secondary Alexithymia: Emerges after trauma, chronic stress, or emotional overwhelm

• Often a protective response—emotions are “switched off” to survive.

• May fluctuate over time, especially with healing and safety.

• Support involves gentle reconnection, validation, and pacing.

Reframing Alexithymia: Strengths and Possibilities

• Emotional processing may be slower, but often more deliberate and less reactive.

• Many people with alexithymia are deeply ethical, loyal, and thoughtful—even if they struggle to express it.

• With the right tools, emotional insight can grow. It’s never too late to learn new ways of connecting.

Case Examples (Names Changed)

• Jamie (age 14): Struggled to name feelings but loved coding and patterns. Therapy used colour-coded emotion wheels and sensory journaling to help Jamie link body signals to emotional states. Over time, Jamie began saying “I feel cloudy” or “I’m in the red zone”—a huge leap in self-awareness.

• Amina (age 32): After years of workplace burnout and masking, Amina described herself as “numb.” Through creative psychoeducation and pacing, she began to notice flickers of emotion—like tension in her jaw or a sudden urge to cry. These became anchors for gentle emotional reconnection.

• Leo (age 24): Diagnosed with autism, Leo found emotions “too messy.” Therapy focused on externalising feelings through metaphor—like weather systems or traffic lights. Leo now uses a “forecast” sheet to track emotional patterns and plan self-care.

The Supportive Tools and Approaches I use to help with Alexityhmia

• Visual emotion maps and sensory-emotional bridges

• Creative journaling (e.g., “If my feeling were a colour…”)

• Psychoeducation on body signals and emotional language

• Validation of emotional shutdown as protective, not broken

• Advocacy letters that translate inner experience into accessible language

Alexithymia doesn’t mean someone lacks emotion—it means they experience it differently. Therapy isn’t about “fixing”—it’s about translating, empowering, and honouring each person’s unique way of being.

If you struggle to name your emotions and relate to any of the information above, contact me at admin@geraldineclairetherapy.co.uk. I offer CBT, Trauma Focussed Counselling, DBT, Schema Therapy, EMDR and welcome clients with neurodiversity. My location is Central Wilmslow and I serve the surrounding areas.